jlowsjunk

im back!

2011-03-13T17:16:00.001-07:00

http://www.esotedick.wordpress.com

smell ya later!

devil you don't

2011-01-21T16:09:00.000-08:00

Bryan Lewis Saunders is another artist who made self-portraits whilst under the influence of several different drugs. Most of the results are pretty expected, but hilarious regardless.

7.5mg Hydrocodone / 7.5mg Oxycodone / 3mg Xanax

Marijuana (Kind Bud)

Psilocybin Mushrooms (2 caps onset)

Salvia Divinorum (right before but mostly right after)

20 Awesomely Untranslatable Words From Around The World

2010-12-19T17:24:00.000-08:00

1. Toska

Russian – Vladmir Nabokov describes it best: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.”

2. Mamihlapinatapei

Yagan (indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego) – “the wordless, yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start” (Altalang.com)

3. Jayus

Indonesian – “A joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh” (Altalang.com)

4. Iktsuarpok

Inuit – “To go outside to check if anyone is coming.” (Altalang.com)

5. Litost

Czech – Milan Kundera, author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being, remarked that “As for the meaning of this word, I have looked in vain in other languages for an equivalent, though I find it difficult to imagine how anyone can understand the human soul without it.” The closest definition is a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery.

6. Kyoikumama

Japanese – “A mother who relentlessly pushes her children toward academic achievement” (Altalang.com)

7. Tartle

Scottish – The act of hestitating while introducing someone because you’ve forgotten their name. (Altalang.com)

8. Ilunga

Tshiluba (Southwest Congo) – A word famous for its untranslatability, most professional translators pinpoint it as the stature of a person “who is ready to forgive and forget any first abuse, tolerate it the second time, but never forgive nor tolerate on the third offense.” (Altalang.com)

9. Prozvonit

Czech – This word means to call a mobile phone and let it ring once so that the other person will call back, saving the first caller money. In Spanish, the phrase for this is “Dar un toque,” or, “To give a touch.” (Altalang.com)

10. Cafuné

Brazilian Portuguese – “The act of tenderly running one’s fingers through someone’s hair.” (Altalang.com)

11. Schadenfreude

German – Quite famous for its meaning that somehow other languages neglected to recognize, this refers to the feeling of pleasure derived by seeing another’s misfortune. I guess “America’s Funniest Moments of Schadenfreude” just didn’t have the same ring to it.

12. Torschlusspanik

German – Translated literally, this word means “gate-closing panic,” but its contextual meaning refers to “the fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages.” (Altalang.com)

13. Wabi-Sabi

Japanese – Much has been written on this Japanese concept, but in a sentence, one might be able to understand it as “a way of living that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay.” (Altalang.com)

14. Dépaysement

French – The feeling that comes from not being in one’s home country.

15. Tingo

Pascuense (Easter Island) – Hopefully this isn’t a word you’d need often: “the act of taking objects one desires from the house of a friend by gradually borrowing all of them.” (Altalang.com)

16. Hyggelig

Danish – Its “literal” translation into English gives connotations of a warm, friendly, cozy demeanor, but it’s unlikely that these words truly capture the essence of a hyggelig; it’s likely something that must be experienced to be known. I think of good friends, cold beer, and a warm fire. (Altalang.com)

17. L’appel du vide

French – “The call of the void” is this French expression’s literal translation, but more significantly it’s used to describe the instinctive urge to jump from high places.

18. Ya’aburnee

Arabic – Both morbid and beautiful at once, this incantatory word means “You bury me,” a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.

19. Duende

Spanish – While originally used to describe a mythical, spritelike entity that possesses humans and creates the feeling of awe of one’s surroundings in nature, its meaning has transitioned into referring to “the mysterious power that a work of art has to deeply move a person.” There’s actually a nightclub in the town of La Linea de la Concepcion, where I teach, named after this word. (Altalang.com)

20. Saudade

Portuguese – One of the most beautiful of all words, translatable or not, this word “refers to the feeling of longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost.” Fado music, a type of mournful singing, relates to saudade. (Altalang.com)

real paranoid android

2010-12-16T18:29:00.000-08:00

im a radiohead fan first and foremost, so i found this part of the article (unfortunately only rated #8 in terms of craziness) the most interesting.

10 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Albums

By Maxwell Yezpitelok, M. Asher Cantrell

# 8 Radiohead's Decade-Spanning Secret Album

Radiohead's In Rainbows came out on 10/10/2007, 10 years after OK Computer, and there are 10 letters in the names of both albums. Additionally, OK Computer's original working title was Zeroes and Ones, or "01," (the mirror image of "10" ... obviously). Even that last part alone is enough to make Radiohead fans start looking for a crazy conspiracy, as you're probably aware if you've ever had to spend a long car ride sitting beside one. The scary part? This time they'd be totally right.

This is what doing a whippet on the highway looks like.

There's a way to combine the tracks from OK Computer (hereinafter referred to as 01) and In Rainbows (hereinafter referred to as 10), to form one huge mega-album. As Puddlegum explains, "To create the 01 and 10 playlist, begin with OK Computer's track one, "Airbag," and follow this with In Rainbow's track one, "15 Step." Alternate the albums, track by track, until you reach "Karma Police" on OK Computer, making "All I Need" the tenth track on the 01 and 10 playlist." It's not that they sound nice together; it's that these songs were definitely meant to make us shit our pants when played like this. In the way that "Golden Slumbers," "Carry That Weight" and "The End" all flow into each other on The Beatles' Abbey Road, these songs all flow into one another as well, as if they were all recorded in one big session.

Don't believe us? Just listen to it. To get the full effect, you need to set your player with a 10-second crossfade between tracks (more 10s!), but you can notice most stuff without doing that. Then shit your pants.

Is Thom York moody, or is he acting like he just crapped his pants
as a really subtle clue?

This blogger points out that the song "Nude" (10 album), starts with the reverb from "Subterranean Homesick Alien" (01 album) still lingering, and the beats at the end of "Airbag" (01) set the tempo for "15 Step" (10). There's nothing unusual about that ... except when you consider that those songs were written and recorded 10 years apart. The pants-shitting synchronicity also applies to the lyrics. Puddlegum gives some examples and says: "There appears to be a concept flowing through the 01 and 10 playlist. Ideas in one song [are] picked up by the next." In fact, one of the songs from In Rainbows was originally written for OK Computer and not used for 10 years, and the title of another seems to sum up the whole thing: "Jigsaw Falling Into Place."

Alternate way to sum it up.

Remember all that "10" stuff we mentioned up top, about the date, the time between albums, the number of letters in the titles and whatnot? Want more? Radiohead themselves announced In Rainbows only 10 days before it came out (which is rather unusual), and the announcement was followed by a series of 10 cryptic messages posted by the band on their website. That's nothing new: Cryptic messages might be the only way alternative rock musicians know how to communicate. But then Radiohead fans, being Radiohead fans, noticed that the messages emphasized the letter X (one image was titled "Xendless Xurbia"). And, say, isn't "X" the Roman numeral for 10? Plus, let's take a look at this cover art real quick.

Oh, look, two 10s. Huh.

The band has never officially confirmed any of this, though Puddlegum claims Thom Yorke was annoyed by how long it's taken people to figure it out. Come on, dude -- not all of us are insane alien geniuses.

stolen@http://www.cracked.com/article_18896_10-mind-blowing-easter-eggs-hidden-in-famous-albums.html

LOOSE JOINTS

2010-12-16T18:25:00.000-08:00

This is not a test. Loose Joints is live!

We’re pleased to announce the launch of our new online music publication Loose Joints. Our goal is to examine innovators and pioneers in music culture with a distinctive Australian outlook.

We’ll be bringing a mix of feature articles, daily news, reviews, plus exclusive video and radio from a range of music genres. Basically, it is like what this newsletter was, but better!

Just check out what's in store!

READ: New Interscope MC, YelaWolf, spoke exclusively to Loose Joints about growing up poor and white in the South.

WATCH: Loose Joints teamed up with Frank Piripitsi for a short documentary on Raph’s Beatbox Kitchen. We go behind the man with the van to see what makes his burgers sizzle.

READ: We examine the cult of Kanye with a look at Runaway, and a review of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

HEAR: UK dancehall don, Gabriel Heatwave, fresh from killing it at Meredith has dropped an exclusive radio mix for us. We also chatted about what exactly is funky bashment.

HEAR: The main man behind Angolan/Portuguese dance crew, Buraka Som Sistema, has also dropped a special mix for Loose Joints radio. He delved deep and came up with the goods.

We're excited about Loose Joints, and there is plenty more to come!

www.loosejoints.com.au

1 in a 1,000,000

2010-12-15T18:37:00.001-08:00

just gonna take this thought and run with it for abit.

what qualities are prevalent in the protagonists of disney movies?
the princes are all fairly one dimensional- great jaws, short hair, great teeth, big chest, long sword.

the princesses are all pretty, but have you really looked at their character?

snow white - befriended a bunch of creepy dwarves, is naive as shit, but possibly a halfie
sleeping beauty - dont remember her having any personality whatsoever, slept a lot (i.e. lazy)
cinderella - scared of confrontation, plays hard to get, ridiculous family
ariel - i think she gets a proper lower body, but..
belle - shes awesome

charlie lim

2010-12-13T17:07:00.000-08:00

you HAVE to download this.

cbf words, but its dead sexy.

http://charlielim.net/pre-release

musique

2010-12-12T18:01:00.000-08:00

i love finding out where artists get their samples from, http://www.whosampled.com/ being a great, but ugly, resource. its always an awesome light bulb in your head moment when you piece 2 tracks together.

if you're familiar with lupe fiasco, im sure you know kick, push which is one of his better songs. (ps. paris, tokyo fucking sucks).

anyway, that delightful tune is sampled from Celetse Legaspi, a phillipino singer. pretty epic stuff

anyway, the best lupe track hands down, is he says, she says, which is sampled from the delightful lou johnson's - the last one to be loved. ive been playing this track nonstop for the past week whilst in my appendix funk. you might be more familiar with lou's OHH HOW CAN I FORGET YOU, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND MEEEe you'll always be a part of me woah-oOhOH-OH

anyway, one of the BEST samples ever (besides kanye's use of great expectations), is T.I sampling Crystal Water's - Gypsy Woman.

see if you can figure out what delightful song T.I samples in this one.

you're sad

2010-12-09T19:03:00.000-08:00

we're all walking around with these glossy eyes. "I'm just tired," we say. but you know what? its bullshit. yes, we're tired, but its not from some lack of sleep. we are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. we're tired of this void, this emptiness that looms, over us, even though our days are packed. and if your days aren't packed? good luck comrade. we're tired of the loneliness that presses down on us even though we're surrounded by dozens of people. so why can't we just say it? humans are so afraid to look into each other's eyes and say "I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and I am fallible." we've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. well, i say screw all of that. screw forced smiles and polite handshakes and im fine, thank yous. screw the fear of crying, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems. we are humans. we are meant to feel. to feel everything and to feel it all openly. we are not metal - we are flesh and bone. our boiled blood courses through our cold, clammy hands. don't hide your human parts, because if you do, then what's left to show? don't become your hidden.

that was fun to type.

WikiLeaks

2010-12-07T16:18:00.001-08:00

was reading the "overheard" section of the mX this morning, someone said that they kept hearing WikiLeaks as Ricki-Lee haha.

i intended to write a long blogpost about the issue today, but read this article today which covers everything i want to say.

Don't Shoot The Messenger For Revealing Uncomfortable Truths - Julian Assange

the whole situation is a bit farcical really - to use a slightly warped analogy, it would be as if the government only arrested the person who grew marijuana, and none of the pushers, users, or abusers.

at the end of the day i feel that WikiLeaks is performing a civic duty to all of mankind. let us all be exposed to the cold harsh realities of the world. and the soldier who released the documents, and im sure is getting punished accordingly- respect. im sure that most people sign up to work in government KNOWING that theres a fair level of bullshit that goes on. the consequences of repeating confidential information are made known to all, and this is a person who was disgusted by the extent of what he saw.

No Secrets: Julian Assange's mission for total transparency

and last but not least, why did you wait so long to cut your hair jules? why?

i think he did it to get them swedes. theyre all bond villians over there.

the mermaid theory

2010-12-07T15:20:00.000-08:00

SUMMARY:

In conclusion, The Mermaid Theory proves that a chick's hotness - as measured in units of how much you want to bone her - increases in direct proportion to the time exposed to her.

Sailors and explorers on particularly long voyages found that manatees - those large blubbery water creatures - would magically morph into beautiful mermaids that said sailors wanted to knock flippers with. Thus, the legend of mermaids was born, straight out of the male mind's unfaltering desire to find something, anything, to stick it to.

For the modern male the theory translates as follows: No matter how hot or unhot a woman is, eventually you will want to sleep with her. The time it takes for this process to occur is the chick's "Mermaid Clock." It starts the first time you lay eyes on a chick* and stops ticking the instant you want to get your jam on.

As an example, if you met Scarlett Johansson, her Mermaid Clock would be .00000001 seconds. She's hot and you would immediately want to inspect those two grapefruits she's strutting around with. Conversely, if you met a less attractive woman, her clock could last anywhere between a couple of hours (e.g. she's nearing 30) to a couple of years (e.g. she's nearing 35).

Barney's Original Blog Post

+++

i dont normally watch how i met your mother, but saw something about this on a friends facebook so i looked into it. i dont think its very true, but the theory allows for that (i.e. some women must have mermaid clocks that last.. forever). funnier when read with what actually happens in the episode of HIMYM - "The Mermaid Theory"

edit. haha i was just wondering if this would apply to females too- hell no. firstly, no one gives a crap about mermen, in fact, thinking about the little mermaid all i remember was her controlling dad (and no other mer-people whatsoever), and he kinda sucked (great pecs though).

as a matter of fact, i think for female -> male attraction (or is that male -> female?)(okay the latter), the curve should be inversely related - e.g. the longer a girl spends with a guy, the lesser her attraction becomes. get it whilst its hot boys.

now we all know this - the longer a guy spends with a girl, the more likely he is to enter the friend zone, and the difficulty of performing a "prison break" from said friend zone is directly related to the length of time he spends with the girl.

tying this back into the mermaid theory, im sure there have been guys who have been like "you know, XXXX is pretty awesome and i wanna bone her" - at which point his mates were like HELL NO DAWG. however, im also pretty sure its highly unlikely that any of the girls who did go from manatee to mermaid allowed the "viewer" to then bone them when they turned desirable.

thus the mermaid theory is the basis for understanding the concept of the friend zone, and how one gets there in the first place.

absolutely genius.
why yes, im patting myself on the back.

me

2010-12-06T17:04:00.000-08:00

i kinda feel like that dolphin that gets hit right now, like i wanna be free, but i cant even move.

oh so cute

2010-12-06T15:48:00.000-08:00

designer tea bags!

chk-chk-BOOM

2010-12-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

this is pretty much how i want my pad to look.

kokomo

2010-12-05T05:22:00.000-08:00

im waiting

appendisectometronomy

2010-12-04T17:02:00.000-08:00

so i got my appendix removed on thursday night.

most people presumed that my appendix had burst, but in reality mine was only really inflamed which makes it a bit less dangerous, and therefore a bit less sexy. in fact, by the time i went into surgery the pain was the least that it had been all day which made me feel pretty bad for wasting(?) my parents money, private hospital indeed.

ive had surgery before and going in is always pretty fun.

you change into your hospital gown, flash your bum at a bunch of people, secretly eat and drink even though they tell you not to, and be a massive brat.

i was the last surgery of the day which made me a bit scared that i had pissed off everyone, preventing them from leaving 45 minutes earlier, but the surgery team were all super chill which kinda made me expect Turk from Scrubs to pop out at anytime. i had this big ranga surgeon chat with me, he looked like skinny Seth Rogen- whenever you meet celebrity doppelgangers you never know whether to alert them to the fact, especially if the celebrity isnt exactly known for being classically beautiful. i told a colleague she looked like Lily Allen and she got mad prissy at me once. like whatevs. one of the nurses commented that she had 'ex-relatives' in my neighbourhood, so i questioned her usage of 'ex-relatives' which led to her curtly revealing she had being divorced. one of my numerous boo-boos during my hospital stay lolol. i talk too much.

now the surgery to remove the appendix is pretty simple, its just a keyhole surgery which means that they inflate your tum-tum with some sorta gas, a little camera goes into your tummy and they shoot the appendix with NERF guns until it surrenders. dead simple.

i go under general anesthetic, and wake up coughing blood. fucking surgeon. turns out because im the worlds fittest (ex)smoker i had some sort of negative pressure somethingsomething occurring, which meant i had drawn in blood and fluids into my lungs whilst the anesthesia pipe was in my lungs.

im lying on the bed coughing up blood, vision slowly returning and i see my parents walk in. they look at me, look at my blood stained mouth and are like 'sup?' my mum is the biggest worry wart but she was so fucking cool lol. piss me off.

anyway, the only other funny story i have is that i wake up in the ICU department, and im looking at my bandages when i realize that my pubes had been shaved. i knew everyone was gonna see my penis, but did they have to shave my pubes whilst i was out? they did a really bad job too. cmoooon toshi.

but yeah getting your appendix removed FUCKING SUCKS. because its your stomach, and therefore you core, and you do everything through your core. i cant fucking stand up straight, cant walk fast, probably cant drive, cant cough, boohoohoo. whatevs. BORED.

oh yeah my girlfriend is going overseas today.
this blows.

kokomo?

2010-12-01T15:53:00.000-08:00

a bunch of my friends are on that NERF tip, which i personally find pretty lame. they told me that theres a whole subcommunity of dudes online who modify their guns- taking out the springs and replacing them with stronger ones for more powerful shots etc.. still lame.

got a sms from my girlfriend the other day because she was at a family gathering and she mentioned something about "awesome machine guns"... they were NERF guns. so sad.

this is pretty cool, but only because i played TFC back in the day.

camera obscura

2010-11-29T19:54:00.000-08:00

im not really an slr carrying, lastnightsparty photo snapping kinda guy, just because its a bit lame (i did buy a fisheye lomo a gazillion years ago though), but i definitely have an itch to "own" a sickguy camera- something like the leica m8.

Fuji are releasing the Finepix X100 pretty soon, which also looks pretty sweet. that being said, i only really need a point and shoot. which my blackberry does. and it even has a sepia filter ooooOooOOooOOOoooOOOOoo

Classic styling contains a nice assortment of features: 23mm (35mm equivalent) lens with an aperture of f2, an APS-C sized 12.3-megapixel CMOS sensor for stills and 720p HD video recording, and a switchable optical and electronic ”hybrid viewfinder.”

my grandad used to have a bunch of sick old school cameras that looked exactly like the one above, but i think they all dissapeared when he passed. or maybe my sister stole them.

economics for

2010-11-29T15:37:00.000-08:00

more life lessons from seinfeld (remember george's fashion?)

The Finale
changes in payoffs/game theory/incentives
Kramer, George, Jerry, and Elaine sit by and watch while a man is carjacked. They are arrested for not acting under the town's new Good Samaritan law. The law is designed to overcome individuals' incentive not to come to others' rescue; we can think of this as a law that changes payoffs in a game matrix.

http://yadayadayadaecon.com/

The Great White Buffalo

2010-11-20T23:15:00.000-08:00

"You created this white monster ... and it seems harmless and puff and cute — but given the right circumstances, everything can be turned back and become evil." - Dan Aykroyd

If you really want to think about it every chick you meet is someone’s ex-girlfriend. However new, bright and shiny the immediate moment, in the form of a smiling barista, a Marina-ite on the morning bus, or even that fleshy, neckless grey-haired woman from the bursar's office who stinks of cigarettes, it always has a past, in the form of an ex-boyfriend, and that son of a b*tch is smirking. He's a lanky dude with an arm tattoo and yeah, he tapped that. It’s like some f*cked up sociological analogue to Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle: no matter what skirt you’re chasing, you’ll always be at least ten minutes too late. Some other guy will always get there first. And here’s what really stings: you’ll never measure up to that guy. He’s her Great White Buffalo.

No one knows how many GWBs exist out there. Every woman running around seems to have one - this singular, totally amazing guy who passed through her life for a fleeting but impassioned moment, a man who is part Russell Brand, Byronesque Baroque charm and part narrow-eyed, broad-shouldered Gerard Butleresque confidence, the kind of man she wishes her current man could smell like, a man who for all his absence remains at the center of her consciousness, making you the side-show schlub. She also hates this man and is committed to believing he's EVIL despite not really believing this at all, since she feels in her heart of tear-filled hearts he is WONDERFUL, even though, objectively, from the perspective of a sane person, the GWB is not a real person at all, but rather a messy and well-worn bundle of ideas and memories that have over time become far more significant and invigorating than the realities that were their provenance.

http://whytherearenogirls.blogspot.com/2010/04/35-great-white-buffalo.html

sometime with steven

2010-11-18T20:04:00.000-08:00

If God doesn’t exist, why did the concept of his existence become almost universal? —Basanta Borah, BASEL, SWITZERLAND
I don’t claim that God doesn’t exist. God is the name people give to the reason we are here. But I think that reason is the laws of physics rather than someone with whom one can have a personal relationship. An impersonal God.

Does the universe end? If so, what is beyond it? —Paul Pearson, HULL, ENGLAND
Observations indicate that the universe is expanding at an ever increasing rate. It will expand forever, getting emptier and darker. Although the universe doesn’t have an end, it had a beginning in the Big Bang. One might ask what is before that, but the answer is that there is nowhere before the Big Bang, just as there is nowhere south of the South Pole.

Do you think our civilization will survive long enough to make the leap to deeper space? —Harvey Bethea, STONE MOUNTAIN, GA.
I think we have a good chance of surviving long enough to colonize the solar system. However, there is nowhere else in the solar system as suitable as the Earth, so it is not clear if we would survive if the Earth was made unfit for habitation. To ensure our long-term survival, we need to reach the stars. That will take much longer. Let’s hope we can last until then.

If you could talk to Albert Einstein, what would you say? —Ju Huang, STAMFORD, CONN.
I would ask him why he didn’t believe in black holes. The field equations of his theory of relativity imply that a large star or cloud of gas would collapse in on itself and form a black hole. Einstein was aware of this but somehow managed to convince himself that something like an explosion would always occur to throw off mass and prevent the formation of a black hole. What if there was no explosion?

Which scientific discovery or advance would you like to see in your lifetime? —Luca Zanzi, ALLSTON, MASS.
I would like nuclear fusion to become a practical power source. It would provide an inexhaustible supply of energy, without pollution or global warming.

What do you believe happens to our consciousness after death? —Elliot Giberson, SEATTLE
I think the brain is essentially a computer and consciousness is like a computer program. It will cease to run when the computer is turned off. Theoretically, it could be re-created on a neural network, but that would be very difficult, as it would require all one’s memories.

Given your reputation as a brilliant physicist, what ordinary interests do you have that might surprise people? —Carol Gilmore, JEFFERSON CITY, MO.
I enjoy all forms of music—pop, classical and opera. I also share an interest in Formula One racing with my son Tim.

Do you feel that your physical limitations have helped or hindered your study? —Marianne Vikkula, ESPOO, FINLAND
Although I was unfortunate enough to get motor neuron disease, I have been very fortunate in almost everything else. I was lucky to be working in theoretical physics, one of the few areas in which disability was not a serious handicap, and to hit the jackpot with my popular books.

Does it feel like a huge responsibility to have people expecting you to have all the answers to life’s mysteries? —Susan Leslie, BOSTON
I certainly don’t have the answers to all life’s problems. While physics and mathematics may tell us how the universe began, they are not much use in predicting human behavior because there are far too many equations to solve. I’m no better than anyone else at understanding what makes people tick, particularly women.

Do you think there will ever come a time when mankind understands all there is to understand about physics? —Karsten Kurze, BAD HONNEF, GERMANY
I hope not. I would be out of a job.

stolen@ymff

now if i did have 2 faces...

2010-11-17T19:58:00.000-08:00

A Better Sort of Insult
By DICK CAVETT

I haven’t ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.

There are two kinds of insult. “I was bored by your book” is one kind. “Your book? Once I put it down, I couldn’t pick it up,” is the other.

Although both are insults, only one is witty. Or, at least, funny. I suppose we should reserve the accolade “wit” for the very highest practitioners of the art — Parker, Wilde, Shaw, Twain, Kaufman, Levant, Marx et al. Some would include Rickles. (As when Sinatra entered a club while Don was onstage. Rickles: “Make yourself comfortable, Frank, hit somebody.”)

While on the subject, I believe it was writer/critic Clive James who is said to have remarked, when a man punched Sinatra in the face one night outside the stage door, “That’s the first time the fan hit the . . . .”

If there is a Top Ten list of insults, Churchill’s most famous one would be at least number three. It is, of course, the well-known exchange between Sir Winston and an irate lady MP. Often botched in the re-telling, the correct version, according to an MP who claimed to have witnessed the notorious exchange, was:

Mr. Churchill, you are drunk.
Madame, you are ugly.
Mr. Churchill, you are extremely drunk!
And you, Madame, are extremely ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober.

Somewhere the witless got hold of it and added “..and you’ll still be ugly,” shamelessly spelling it out for the slow to catch on. The underlining of and the verbal stress on “I” needs no further help. The boobish add-on sinks it.

*****

Great humorists are great insulters.

Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it’s hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are. Some of the funniest insults I’ve heard were whispered from one comedy writer to another while in a meeting with an unpleasant star comic, shortsighted enough to be nasty to his writers.

Here come two gems from my small but cherished collection of well-deserved toxic bombs dropped on giant comic egos by fed-up writers.

The comic who received the following poisoned arrow was known on both TV and radio, nationwide. Let’s leave his largely forgotten name aside, should he have surviving relatives who may not have heard this. Let’s call this fellow “Don.”

I met him but twice. He was unpleasant. He was known as a good ad-libber, cordial and amiable on air. Additionally, he was known as a horror. Think of one you know. Don was worse — snide, insulting and contemptuous of those vital employees whose talents nourished and enhanced his reputation as a funny man.

At a meeting with his staff of four writers, his contempt for them and their art became too much for one guy. Don was a marked man, about to inspire an insult of the deadliest variety.

First, a required fact. The comic had an unfortunate disfigurement of the face and was self-conscious about it. Make-up made him look o.k. on the air, but in person, the small craters in the facial flesh were the worst I’ve ever seen. They were virtually holes.

On the fateful day, he said something so infuriating that one of the writers resigned on the spot. Uttering a decidedly unwitty expletive, he jumped to his feet with a loud, “That’s it!” And stomped out, slamming the door.

Then the door re-opened. He reappeared, momentarily.

“Hey, Don, I’ve always wanted to ask you something. What’s par for your right cheek?” (Exit.)

*****

You’d think that insecure comics — and this category includes some huge stars — would know better than to open themselves up as targets to the very people who can both make them appear witty but can, at the same time, most memorably wound them.

I was a huge Jackie Gleason fan, despite friends who wondered how I could admire both Groucho Marx and Gleason, whom they considered crude. Watch him in “The Honeymooners” or, if you prefer, in “The Hustler” and see the definition of the phrase “never makes a false move.”

Contributing to his collection of neuroses was the fact that, when he was quite young, his father went away one day and never came back. It’s said that Jackie went to great lengths to find his lost father, even trying psychics and trance mediums.

One of Jackie’s writers had been summoned to the penthouse offices of the Gleason show in the Park Sheraton in Manhattan. (In my youth I used to hang around there, in hopes of glimpsing The Great One.) From experience, the guy knew he could expect a chewing out.

The writer was on time but the star was not. An hour passed. And then, another.

The writer, presumably with an already ample list of grievances over this sort of treatment, apparently decided that employment in a salt mine would be no less pleasant than the current gig. He’d had it. It was time to quit.

He announced this to Gleason’s secretary and headed for the door.

“What shall I tell Mr. Gleason when he finds no one here?”

The writer vented his accumulated bile with but a few words:

“Tell him his dad dropped by.”

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/09/a-better-sort-of-insult/

girl talk

2010-11-16T19:52:00.000-08:00

now downloadable for free! (if you choose)

http://illegal-art.net/allday/

oakley mayn

2010-11-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

got together with matt pastor to get his help with shooting my video entry for oakley's join the rebellion job search. NOTHING went as planned haha. but thats how life is.

http://comp.jointherebellion.com.au/entries#90901

please vote!

hardknock life

2010-11-14T04:59:00.000-08:00

im not saying we were dirt poor or nothing, but back in primary school we used to play a game we called Country Rubbers. these rubbers cost 20cents from the bookstore, and we used to collect them and then battle with people, winner takes all. using your index finger you would move the rubber around the table by pressing down hard on the corners of the rubber, and if my rubber "sat" (landed) on top of yours, i won, and i kept your rubber. it involved strategy as some dudes could make their rubbers hop quite well, so if you got too close you were in their strike zone so to speak. pretty advanced stuff for 7 year old kids aye?

so yes, i was exposed to gambling at an early age.
and yes, i'm pretty good with flags now. COS I WAS GOOOOOD.

United Nations was the "rarest" rubber, so obviously i had like 5 and never battled them haha. The Australia and New Zealand rubbers used to confuse me when I was small because obviously you couldn't see much detail on them. I remember a friend once showed me a Papua New Guinea rubber and I was like, "yo that place doesnt exist, your rubber is fake!"

I'm thinking back now, and I think the trends during Primary School went:

Country Rubbers -> Tamagotchi -> Digimon -> Yo-yos -> Pokemon Cards -> Girls

real talk.

if you cant be bothered reading/come here for the photos

2010-11-13T01:48:00.001-08:00

VOTE FOR ME!

http://comp.jointherebellion.com.au/entries/90796

OAKLEY MAN TELL'EM

2010-11-13T01:39:00.000-08:00

dear kind friends,

so after 5 years or so or blogging, ive never really asked for anything from you.
you may have come across this blog through google, from a forum, through a friend, or you may be a friend. it doesn't matter. i love you all. your visits keep me warm at night; they let me know that out there, somewhere in the 6 billion people on this place we call earth, people value my opinion. or maybe you all think im full of sh*t.

ive shown you photos of sexy girls, might have showed you photos of sexy guys, filtered out all the bad music to deliver you the good music (complete with URLs), embedded youtubes before they went viral so you could impress your friends, told your stories about my life, increased all your indie points with my awesome indieguy photos, improved your spelling with my constant use of spell check, expanded your vocabulary with words like "diversity" and "cohesion" and "synergy", corrupted your brain by introducing words such as "du" and "whatevs" into your vernacular, let you in on dope events, told you have to think:

many, many things. so now i ask you to click this link, and vote for me. i'll be releasing a video in the next week or so showing how outrageously oakley doakley i am.

http://comp.jointherebellion.com.au/entries/90796

xoxo,
your loving blogger friend,
jlow

dressed to impressed

2010-11-11T00:20:00.000-08:00

try and see how many you can decipher without actually cheating and going to the website to see which ensemble represents which musician.
i only got michael jackson, kanye west, prince, pharrell, and run dmc which are probably the more obvious ones.

this probably says something about me.
i suck.

update. man some of these are obscure as haha

Moxy Creative House - Ensemble

the real karate kid

2010-11-10T01:40:00.001-08:00

in life we're always told to play to our strengths.

stick to know what you know and you'll probably achieve the most satisfactory outcomes. that being said, Kevin Durant combining basketball and Mr Miyagi-esque karate training probably won't do him any good*

wax-on, wax-off.

*i am prepared to eat my words if he fly swats lebron off the court

spot the difference

2010-11-08T02:25:00.000-08:00

both of these movies are about the same thing,
one of these is going to suck.

but neither of them is going to have anything on this:

THE GRANDMASTERS,
directed by Wong-Kar Wai,
staring Tony Leung & Zhang Zhiyi

because we've all seen Yip Man, and who ACTUALLY believes Donnie Yuen's pat-a-cake kung fu actually works?

anyway, my claim to fame: my granduncle was taught kung-fu by this guy (called Cornelius- how many Asians do you know called Cornelius?) who was taught kung-fu by THE Yip-Man.

therefore, i am only 4 degrees of separation from Bruce Lee.
can't touch this.

what?

2010-11-03T16:25:00.000-07:00

one of the more impressive things ive seen..

it was this song

king of halloween 2010

2010-11-02T18:22:00.000-07:00

man i loved ninja turtles.

glory hole

2010-11-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

An artist named Aram Bartholl has come up with a novel spin on peer-to-peer file sharing, by embedding USB sticks into walls across New York.

The project, which is called “Dead Drops” allows anyone to come along, and upload or download whatever files they like. A readme.txt file is included in the root of the USB stick that explains the project and lists the locations of the other points.

Bartholl explains on his website detailing the project: “‘Dead Drops’ is an anonymous, offline, peer-to-peer file sharing network in public space. I am ‘injecting’ USB flash drives into walls, buildings and curbs accessible to anybody in public space. You are invited to go to these places (so far five in NYC) to drop or find files on a dead drop. Plug your laptop to a wall, house or pole to share your files.”

He also lists the locations of each USB stick, complete with images showing exactly where to find the port sticking out of the wall. They can be found mainly in Brooklyn and Manhattan, but Bartholl is also planning on creating a guide to allow people to make your own node near wherever they live around the world.

http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/11/dead-drops/

this is a pretty cool concept, but forget you and forget you computer if you actually go plug in your USB key. most definitely these will be filled with viruses and porn pretty damn quickly, which does say something about society, or might just be a reflection of my cynicism.

i read an article about how movies nowadays don't provide us with any "catch-phrases" anymore, i.e you dont hear 'hasta la vista' baby WITHOUT knowing its from the terminator. and if you suck and you didnt know that, you still probably know 'hasta la vista'

like i love avatar, but i dont really remember any of the script. jake sully may/may not have said "plug me in", but that doesnt really have the gravitas of "beam me up, scotty". inception had a great script, but only just the horns going BRAaaaPPPP BRAAAPPPPP BRAAAAAAPPP, stand out in my mind, which is more of a soundtrack.

i really hope "get these motherf******g snakes off this motherf******g plane" does NOT stand the test of time, but hey, it probably will. is this a bad thing? yes.

now i don't think the lack of potent one-liners is really due to shitty script writing, and the article doesn't exactly provide any answers or suggestions, but i feel one reason why this is so is because nowadays we're expected to know and digest copious amounts of information (relevant or otherwise) daily. even when we don't want/need to know something, it gets forced down our throats. we move from a to b to z in the blink of an eye.

i'm not going to elaborate anymore because you've probably heard all this before, but hey, i just needed to unload some verbal diarrhoea because i needed a decent segue into how you and me, together, should try and bring cee-lo's "forget you" into legendary catch-phrase territory.

the key is to use it at the most grammatically incorrect timings possible.

anyway, i read this quote somewhere recently,

"in the same way you can never go backward to a slower computer, you can never go backward to a lessened state of connectedness"

and while i agree that the first part is kinda true (when i use a blazing fast PC i still prefer my macbook haha), the second part is not true. my girlfriend is a prime example of someone who got a Facebook account, then decided the whole thing was stupid and left it alone. no matter how many times I poke her, she never pokes back. damn.

so do your own thing, middle finger to the world, but a tip of advice: you don't need to be connected per se, but make sure you know HOW to get to that state of connectedness, or you'll be left far, far behind. like your parents. and microsoft.

*"connected" seems to be the pseudo catch phrase of Generation whY "commentators". get a real job.

happy harroween

2010-10-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

the missus and i always talk about one day going to a halloween party, just cos we've never been to one, but that being said, ive never really dressed up for a theme party anyway.

sad existence aye?

so like, we didnt go to one this year because halloween is always right in the middle of exams.

anyway i thought these were super kyutes, so ill save them before they get taken down.

scooby doo x google

just when i felt like procastinating

2010-10-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

maybe if i bring this button to my examinations people will get freaked out, meaning i do better. the power of normal distribution and standardization!

dont press the button

2010-10-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." is a grammatically valid sentence in the English language, used as an example of how homonyms and homophones can be used to create complicated linguistic constructs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo

for your consideration

2010-10-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

this should be called "What Did Combat Jack Did?" (WDCJD). most of these stories are pretty dope (complex magazine WHY is your website layout so un-conducive to reading?), and here is the Izzo story, just cos it features my boy Kanye.

Jay-Z "Izzo" (H.O.V.A.) (2001)
Produced by: Kanye West

"I had known Kanye West from the mid-’90s, when he had been signed as a producer to Deric 'D-Dot' Angelettie's Crazy Cat Catalog production company. Kanye been hot as a producer. Early in 2001, Kanye stopped by my office. He needed and was shopping for a new attorney. He was going on and on about how his contract with Deric was over, how he was about to take his career to the stratosphere, how he had the first single off Jay's upcoming album called 'Izzo.' Kanye in person is the same as Kanye on-screen: hyped about his God-given talents, amped about his upcoming projects. Izzo, Izzo, Izzo is all he talked about, and I'm sitting on the other side of my desk thinking 'What the fuck is an Izzo?' Then he decided to drop the bomb on me about how he was going to start rapping and how he was pissed that no one took his intentions to rap serious. Like I said, I know Kanye, and when he mentioned he wanted to rap, how he was going to be 'the biggest rapper ever' I was like, 'Riiiiiiiight.'

"There was no way I could imagine dude rapping. He wasn't very 'rapper-like,' in my opinion. Which meant that him being the next biggest rapper wasn't even in the stars. Haha. I guess he picked up on how I was that next cat that didn't take him serious about becoming a rapper, so he left and hired someone else. Months later, as I was driving up to the Hamptons with my wife, Hot 97 started playing 'Izzo (H.O.V.A.).' My wife was in the middle of talking and I immediately hushed her up. Now it started to make sense, Izzo, Izzo, Izzo. Years later he went on to become one of the biggest rappers of all-time. He was right, I was wrong. But I'm not mad though. I know Kanye, and waaaaay before the money and the fame, that nigga been crazy. You can't fault me for not believing the words of a crazy man. And that is mos def a 'no shots.'"

lol

2010-10-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

"its like a moving tumblr account!"

do the right thing

2010-10-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

this is pretty much the movie besides that sneaker scene. and rosie perez dancing at the start. yep. you still need to watch it (the original) though.

THE GREAT DEBATE

2010-10-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

If you have the correct answer to the following question, you can be part of the largest pay-per-view sporting event in American history: Who would win in a one-on-one game between Kobe Bryant and LeBron James?

Kobe Bryant: I'd win. That's what I do. One-on-one -- that's easy for me. One-on-one is how I grew up playing. It's, like, my thing. LeBron is more like a Magic Johnson. He's a great passer and plays an all-around game. At the core of me, I'm a one-on-one player. I'd do that in my sleep.

Mark Cuban: It depends on the rules. Is it, "no blood, no foul"?

Yes, the players would call their own fouls. There would be no referee. Who uses refs in one-on-one?

Cuban: Then I take LeBron. He's too big. Regular refs, I take Kobe.

Note: James is 2 inches taller and 30 pounds heavier than Bryant.

Cuban: Because if you let them call their own fouls, then the audience gets to make their own judgments, and that makes it more interesting.

Yes, they'd call their own fouls. So how much would you pay for Bryant versus James on your HDNet?

Cuban: A lot.

ABA/NBA legend Rick Barry: I'd say Kobe would beat him. Kobe has more moves. And Kobe's the better shooter. LeBron might beat him in one game, if LeBron got hot with outside shooting. Would there be "three seconds"?

There would be no ref, so it would be up to the players to call three seconds. And in the entire history of one-on-one basketball, nobody has ever been weenie enough to call three seconds.

Barry: Well, then, Kobe would be in trouble. Because LeBron's a beast.

Jeff Van Gundy: I have no idea of who would win, but this is exactly what the All-Star Game needs. Forget the dunk contest, the rookie-sophomore game, the skills challenge, the 3-point thing, give us Kobe and LeBron to 21 and they call their own fouls. Get sponsorship and give money to charity. You have to get this done!

Sorry, the money is much bigger with PPV. Besides, I already called the NBA, and the league wouldn't bite on it.

Kevin Grigg, Detroit Pistons media guy: Do you have to win by two?

Yes, you must win by two. Because of the higher point value for baskets, the games would be to 35. Best of five. Coin flip to determine who gets the ball first, then winner gets ball out each game thereafter.

Grigg: In that case, the game might never end.

The one-on-one show's undercard would be:
• Steve Nash versus Chris Paul
• Shaquille O'Neal versus Nate Robinson
• Kevin Durant versus Carmelo Anthony
• Jordan versus Magic

Dunleavy: Man, I'd pay to see that.

ESPN: If Kobe and LeBron play, we all win

ohayoo

2010-10-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

The Multifunction Polis (MFP) was a controversial proposal for a planned community in Australia first proposed in 1987 which was abandoned in 1998.

The MFP was to have an initial population of over 100,000 and include futuristic villages containing housing, education, employment and recreation. A modern communication system was proposed to attract high tech industry. Asian investors were targeted as the source of funds for infrastructure, with an emphasis on Japanese investors.

Several locations were put forward and in 1990, a site north of Adelaide was selected. The proposal generated considerable opposition in Australia, and many viewed the project as a virtual Japanese settlement on Australian soil. However funding for the MFP never eventuated.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multifunction_Polis

+++

know your country.

thats them!

2010-10-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

The Ewing Theory
by Bill Simmons, ESPN

The theory was created in the mid-'90s by Dave Cirilli, a friend of mine who was convinced that Patrick Ewing's teams (both at Georgetown and with New York) inexplicably played better when Ewing was either injured or missing extended stretches because of foul trouble.

Curious to see if this phenomenon applied to other stars/teams, Dave noticed people were pencilling in the '94-'95 UConn Huskies for a .500 season because "superstar" Donyell Marshall had departed for the NBA. Dave knew better; a lifelong UConn fan, he thought the Huskies relied too much on Marshall the previous season and could survive without him. Like Ali predicting the first Liston knockout, Dave told friends the Huskies would thrive in Marshall's absence -- and that's exactly what happened. By midseason, UConn was ranked No. 1 in the country for the first time in school history; the Ewing Theory had been hatched.

Dave introduced me to the Ewing Theory three years ago, and we've been tinkering with it like Voltaire and Thoreau ever since. Eventually, we decided that two crucial elements needed to be in place for any situation to qualify for "Ewing" status:

A star athlete receives an inordinate amount of media attention and fan interest, and yet his teams never win anything substantial with him (other than maybe some early-round playoff series).

That same athlete leaves his team (either by injury, trade, graduation, free agency or retirement) -- and both the media and fans immediately write off the team for the following season.

When those elements collide, you have the Ewing Theory.

http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?id=1193711

NOIR

2010-10-09T16:37:00.000-07:00

copped my NOIR jeans yesterday.
NOIR is the new love child of my boy Pete Le Creep from forthehomies.
15.5oz japanese selvedge denim, zimbabwean ~~blood diamonds~~ cotton, the labour of love starts now.

man with a scam

2010-10-06T21:50:00.000-07:00

a rite of passage for all, what is in the white van may come in many different shapes and sizes, but for some odd reason, the van in the white van scam always stays (dirty)white.

i had the pleasure of being accosted in broad daylight today by a fat dude wearing a small chain. he shouted at me in chinese, and when i said 'what?' in english (thinking he needed directions - good samaritan status) he asked me if i was korean. [why do chinese people (asians?) always do this?]

anyway he asked me if i wanted a new hi-fi system (homie people only bought hi-fis in '95) and i always love an adventure so i was like 'yeah orright'. he pulled into a parking spot and then i met charles, fatguywithsmallchain's smaller and more eloquent partner.

the thing(s) that really impressed me about this scam were:

1. "marc vincent" sounds pretty plausible as a brand name lololol

2. he produced a pretty realistic looking invoice to backup his story about having being given one too many systems

3. he had an audio magazine from january 2010 (pointing to the date on the front) with an advertisement showing the MSRP of $5,999

4. he showed me at least $2k in a wad of $100s and $50s, as in, he had made a sale already and why wouldnt i buy one too?

the thing(s) that f***** him up were:

1. what the heck is MSRP - just looked it up, it stands for Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price

2. "marc vincent systems are used in maserati cars" - really?

3. he asked me how much cash i could get then offered me a smaller system when i said alot less than the $1,500 he wanted

4. any "italian heritage brand" would have really slick packaging, not a photo of the system (aight it still kinda looked legit haha) and a massive iphone on it with bad quality printing

5. he kept telling me to sit in the back of the van with him - WHY U WANNA KIDNAP ME FOR MAN?

so it was all really quite amusing and there was no way in hell that i would have bought any of this shit. a fat greek dude in a suit walked over and asked us what we were doing which caused the asians to freeze up but i thought 'yo, ill help them sell this shit' and introduced him to charles and fatguywithsmallchain. the problem was charles wasnt really interested, so i leaned in and whispered 'i aint gonna buy anything, so you should sell to this guy', at which point he looked me in the eye and said 'i dont wanna sell to white person'.

now that would be fine if he was looking out for another asian brother, but *%&^@ youre running a scam and you only wanna scam asian people? damn son.

the first thing i thought off was these guys scamming my mother who has since insisted that she wouldnt be as stupid as me to talk to them in the first place when i regaled her with my tale, but this is the woman who bought us a "sonwa" dvd player from a FRIEND. (its actually kinda useful because it plays xvid format haha)

so i just decided to walk away, and im not a snitch (snitches get stitches), but because the police station was on my way home i decided to drop by and hoped that these two asian scamming asians would be locked up in prison.

as i walked into the police station i imagined the police turning on me being all "ha! why would anyone be bothered to report such a petty crime? you must have an ulterior motive! look! a warrant* for your arrest!" but instead the guy there was very nice and in fact filled in all the blanks in my story and placatingly told me

"look, we cant do anything about it because its a case of buyer beware"

at which point i wanted to shake him and scream "I DIDNT FOCKIN BUY ONE IM NOT THAT DUM" but whatevs. so anyway, i tried to do my part for society, and here i am again telling all you readers

CAVEAT EMPTOR!

seize the day.

http://www.marcvincentaudio.com/

Jack Cola blog on Marc Vincent

*there is no warrant for my arrest i swear

AWESOME!

2010-10-06T18:47:00.000-07:00

best

2010-10-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

www.hipsterhitler.com

from my younger brother who is one of them ~~paradox~~ "i dont give a crap about being cool" guys WELL HOW DO U KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF HUH? and how do you get it?

no dmt

2010-10-04T22:51:00.000-07:00

In the late 1950’s, the government conducted an experiment in which an artist was given a dose of LSD and free access to an activity box full of crayons and pencils. The above drawings were done in the first 20 and 85 minutes after taking the first doses. The drawings unravel as the artists mind does, the results are kinda next level.

85 minutes after first dose and 20 minutes after a second dose has been administered (50ug + 50ug)

The patient seems euphoric.

‘I can see you clearly, so clearly. This… you… it’s all … I’m having a little trouble controlling this pencil. It seems to want to keep going.’

2 hours 30 minutes after first dose.

Patient appears very focus on the business of drawing.

‘Outlines seem normal, but very vivid - everything is changing colour. My hand must follow the bold sweep of the lines. I feel as if my consciousness is situated in the part of my body that’s now active - my hand, my elbow… my tongue’.

2 hours 32 minutes after first dose.

Patient seems gripped by his pad of paper.

‘I’m trying another drawing. The outlines of the model are normal, but now those of my drawing are not. The outline of my hand is going weird too. It’s not a very good drawing is it? I give up - I’ll try again…’

2 hours 35 minutes after first dose.

Patient follows quickly with another drawing.

‘I’ll do a drawing in one flourish… without stopping… one line, no break!’

Upon completing the drawing the patient starts laughing, then becomes startled by something on the floor.

2 hours 45 minutes after first dose.

Patient tries to climb into activity box, and is generally agitated - responds slowly to the suggestion he might like to draw some more. He has become largely none verbal.

‘I am… everything is… changed… they’re calling… your face… interwoven… who is…’ Patient mumbles inaudibly to a tune (sounds like ‘Thanks for the memory). He changes medium to Tempera.

4 hours 25 minutes after first dose.

Patient retreated to the bunk, spending approximately 2 hours lying, waving his hands in the air. His return to the activity box is sudden and deliberate, changing media to pen and water colour.

‘This will be the best drawing, Like the first one, only better. If I’m not careful I’ll lose control of my movements, but I won’t, because I know. I know’ - (this saying is then repeated many times).

Patient makes the last half-a-dozen strokes of the drawing while running back and forth across the room.

5 hours 45 minutes after first dose.

Patient continues to move about the room, intersecting the space in complex variations. It’s an hour and a half before he settles down to draw again - he appears over the effects of the drug.

‘I can feel my knees again, I think it’s starting to wear off. This is a pretty good drawing - this pencil is mighty hard to hold’ - (he is holding a crayon).

8 hours after first dose.

Patient sits on bunk bed. He reports the intoxication has worn off except for the occational distorting of our faces. We ask for a final drawing which he performs with little enthusiasm.

‘I have nothing to say about this last drawing, it is bad and uninteresting, I want to go home now.’

stolen@thestachelife

kokomo

2010-10-04T06:14:00.000-07:00

so my girlfriend got me on that Egyptian cotton 1200* thread count bedlinen (thank you baby).

i love it.

my bed looks like the first 20 seconds of this clip now

ITS SO FLUFFFFY!

*orright dyea dyea i only bought them 450 count ones

QUOTED4TRUTH

2010-10-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

stolen@ohwrd.com

Park51

2010-09-30T05:53:00.001-07:00

this is a great read about what some ad agencies would do to tackle the problem of religious intolerance towards Islam, and help resolve the issue of the Park51 center, which if you didn't know, is the uproar surrounding the plans to build a mosque on the site where the World Trade Towers stood:

Open Dialog: Addressing Perceptions of Islam

i like the first solution the best, one of them is really stupid but i cant remember which.

did you know:

1. islamic extremists have been responsible for less terrorist attacks in america than jewish extremists

2. the biggest terrorist attack on american soil prior to 9/11 was done by a "catholic"

2. "we've" been in afghanistan for nearly 10 years now

read this

2010-09-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

Too Many Hamburgers? →
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN

To visit China today as an American is to compare and to be compared. And from the very opening session of this year’s World Economic Forum here in Tianjin, our Chinese hosts did not hesitate to do some comparing. China’s CCTV aired a skit showing four children — one wearing the Chinese flag, another the American, another the Indian, and another the Brazilian — getting ready to run a race. Before they take off, the American child, “Anthony,” boasts that he will win “because I always win,” and he jumps out to a big lead. But soon Anthony doubles over with cramps. “Now is our chance to overtake him for the first time!” shouts the Chinese child. “What’s wrong with Anthony?” asks another. “He is overweight and flabby,” says another child. “He ate too many hamburgers.”

That is how they see us.

For the U.S. visitor, the comparisons start from the moment one departs Beijing’s South Station, a giant space-age building, and boards the bullet train to Tianjin. It takes just 25 minutes to make the 75-mile trip. In Tianjin, one arrives at another ultramodern train station — where, unlike New York City’s Pennsylvania Station, all the escalators actually work. From there, you drive to the Tianjin Meijiang Convention Center, a building so gigantic and well appointed that if it were in Washington, D.C., it would be a tourist site. Your hosts inform you: “It was built in nine months.”

I know, I know. With enough cheap currency, labor and capital — and authoritarianism — you can build anything in nine months. Still, it gets your attention. Some of my Chinese friends chide me for overidealizing China. I tell them: “Guilty as charged.” But have no illusions. I am not praising China because I want to emulate their system. I am praising it because I am worried about my system. In deliberately spotlighting China’s impressive growth engine, I am hoping to light a spark under America.

Studying China’s ability to invest for the future doesn’t make me feel we have the wrong system. It makes me feel that we are abusing our right system. There is absolutely no reason our democracy should not be able to generate the kind of focus, legitimacy, unity and stick-to-it-iveness to do big things — democratically — that China does autocratically. We’ve done it before. But we’re not doing it now because too many of our poll-driven, toxically partisan, cable-TV-addicted, money-corrupted political class are more interested in what keeps them in power than what would again make America powerful, more interested in defeating each other than saving the country.

“How can you compete with a country that is run like a company?” an Indian entrepreneur at the forum asked me of China. He then answered his own question: For democracy to be effective and deliver the policies and infrastructure our societies need requires the political center to be focused, united and energized. That means electing candidates who will do what is right for the country not just for their ideological wing or whoever comes with the biggest bag of money. For democracies to address big problems — and that’s all we have these days — requires a lot of people pulling in the same direction, and that is precisely what we’re lacking.

“We are not ready to act on our strength,” said my Indian friend, “so we’re waiting for them [the Chinese] to fail on their weakness.”

Will they? The Chinese system is autocratic, rife with corruption and at odds with a knowledge economy, which requires liberty. Yet China also has regular rotations of power at the top and a strong record of promoting on merit, so the average senior official is quite competent. Listening to Prime Minister Wen Jiabao of China tick off growth statistics in his speech here had the feel of a soulless corporate earnings report. Yet he has detailed plans for his people’s betterment, from universities to high-speed rail, and he’s delivering on them.

Orville Schell of the Asia Society, one of America’s best China watchers, who was with me in Tianjin, put it perfectly: “Because we have recently begun to find ourselves so unable to get things done, we tend to look with a certain overidealistic yearning when it comes to China. We see what they have done and project onto them something we miss, fearfully miss, in ourselves” — that “can-do,” “get-it-done,” “everyone-pull-together,” “whatever-it-takes” attitude that built our highways, dams and put a man on the moon.

“These were hallmarks of our childhood culture,” said Schell. “But now we view our country turning into the opposite, even as we see China becoming animated by these same kinds of energies. I don’t idealize China’s system of government. I don’t want to live in an authoritarian system. But I do feel compelled to look at China in an objective way and acknowledge the successes of this system.” That doesn’t mean advocating that we become like China. It means being alive to the challenge we are up against and even finding ways to cooperate with China. “The very retro notion that we are undisputedly still No. 1,” added Schell, “is extremely dangerous.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/22/opinion/22friedman.html

blonde

2010-09-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

its legalio!

Soft Powers - Bad Pop

Hoodie Allen - Pep Rally

BLACKSHEEEEP

2010-09-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

i finally got around to watching scott pilgrim vs the world,

so i started this blog post by saying, "it was worth the wait to see scott pilgrim", but then decided to rescind that sentence because it wasnt really worth the wait, i was just a lazy douchebag/asshole/scumbag/jerkoff (RUNAWAY!) and never got around to seeing it. did it get better because i wasted so long? dunno.

anyway, do yourself a favour and catch it before it leaves the cinemas. i think its pretty much only showing @ cinema nova in lygon now, and theres a fair bit of action, so the big screen (and my word) is bond.

and if you wont do it for yourself (what?) do it for micheal cera! homeboys in a lot of strife, cos scott pilgrim bombing(bombed?) at the box office could be pretty much disastrous for his career. apparently. (actually dont cancel the arrested development movie and his career can RIP without too much noise from me).

bonus! other related michael cera paraphernalia! michael's movie recommendations! ive seen half! im half a sick du!

also jonah hill has a new movie coming out,

ha! ha! it looks funny!
what a sickhalfgrownedupguy. john c reilly, what a sickgrownman.

you know how sometimes you look at actors in roles, and youre like 'hes not really acting, hes just being himself', well im pretty sure that applies to the entire posse of judd apatow and homies. you know jonah hill is a dickhead... if he hates you. i read an article in the rolling stone and he was talking about how after superbad he didnt go down the normal route of boning girls who used to reject him, dude was mad bitter, so he boned every girl who ever rejected him. ha ha. and told an asshole teacher to f*** off in public after they pretended they had supported him for years.

yo teach!

un-kokomo

2010-09-14T18:24:00.000-07:00

i dont know if any of you have been to melbourne zoo recently, but gotdamn is it disappointing haha. the animals all look depressed, which is understandable considering we've ripped (saved?) them from their natural (unnatural?) habitat, but ive been to other zoos which remind me of the movie madagascar (yeah the animals wanna escape but theyre always happy when the humans come).

so melbourne zoo, can we please give them some nicer enclosures and perhaps some looovers? anyway, all animals love me, so i understand that they werent being rude to me, but are currently involved in a boycott of melbourne zoo.

as you can see from these photos, all the animals have turned their backs on photo-taking.

this guy was like 'if i stand still maybe they cant see me'

and these two just wanted to s-e-x so they didnt give a damn at all

when i go to the zoo i wanna see epic shit like this

so rather than tell you not to go to the zoo, everyone donate some money to the zoo so we can buy these godforsaken animals some cool enclosures and prostitutes.

the end.

p.s. its worth the $20 just to check out the tamarines.. THEY HAVE A MOUSTACHIO

SOHK

2010-09-14T05:24:00.000-07:00

damn

2010-09-11T04:21:00.000-07:00

ever so often you come across something on the internet that tells you about something pretty damn amazing.

HAAAAAAAAAAA

2010-09-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

I WISH MEN IN CHYNA WORD BOID MERD RESPECTFU
SHOES THAT BRING YOU A LONG WAI
IM NIGHT IN NO BAT DAY
OWWAAAHHHH
MHHHHHHMMHHH
PONG-CHEWWWWW
MEEHHH
MMUUYYEEEWW
HAH-LOWWW... and to make sure you heard it.. HAH-LOWWW

peachy

2010-09-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

I HAS RITTEN A BOOK AND IT IS SO EXCITING NOBODY CAN PUT IT DOWN. AS SOON AS YOU HAS RED THE FIRST LINE YOU IS SO HOOKED ON IT YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL THE LAST PAGE. IN ALL THE CITIES PEEPLE IS WALKING IN THE STREETS BUMPING INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEIR FACES IS BURIED IN MY BOOK AND DENTISTS IS READING IT AND TRYING TO FILL TEETHS AT THE SAME TIME BUT NOBODY MINDS BECAUSE THEY IS ALL READING IT TOO IN THE DENTIST’S CHAIR.

Big Sometimes Friendly Giant: Roald Dahl—the storyteller as benevolent sadist

i grew up on a diet of roald dahl books as a kid. my parents had no problem buying us books (i had to beg for months for a copy of a pirated version of counter-strike).

storytime during primary school always sucked for teachers because i had read all the books, and everytime as they finished a chapter they would ask 'what happens next oOoOooooO?' and id just be like "IKNOWMISSTHEYGETONTHEPEACHANDTHEYEATTHEPEACH" etc.

i dont know what rubbish kids are reading these days, but my kids will be definitely be on that roald dahl tip. f*** twilight. i may/may not have read an article about dahl sleeping with every british woman along the east coast which threw me off a bit because he always came across as a super family man, but this was probably after his wife died. that being said, he was probably a monster flirt.. like steven fry x heterosexuality. or jeremy clarkson.

gonna track down these adult short stories now. (had to include the short in there haha)

royalty

2010-09-06T00:09:00.001-07:00

overheard some guys complimenting this month's cover of sport&style

gr8 job.

shit like this should be general knowledge.
if yah dont know.. now you..

i dont know the history behind the cover as ive never read the esquire article. probably something about getting prosecuted for converting to islam and refusing to enlist. read the mundine article, not a bad read.. but fairly one dimensional sportsperson profile. that being said, i do like mundine, but comparing him to ali is a bit... something something "homage"... dotdotdot... dyeah.

its coming

2010-09-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

http://nymag.com/news/features/67966/

spagot

2010-09-05T17:53:00.000-07:00

my dads birthday is always pretty close to fathers day...

slightly less mad than buying yer mum a vacuum cleaner for mothers day

mijosso

2010-09-04T23:07:00.000-07:00

i was reading the angryasianman website which is both extremely embarassing and quietly empowering at times (in a really embarassing way "yes we can... la" way), which if you dont know, is an american blog run by an angry asian-american who blogs about all kinds of asian activity in the media (especially hate crimes and other crimes asians commit on the populace). i know hostage taking aint nothing to laugh at, but the case of "InSaNe EnViRoNmEnTaLiSt" (teenybooper typing for extra ludicrousy) james lee taking control of the discovery channel because he had an issue with their programing (not enough overpopulation documentaries) is pretty laughable.

anyway, the editor got send some hate mail..

From: Dirty Hippie
To: angryasianan@angryasianman.com

ive been watching the news all day and have become increasingly disturbed at the frequent occurences of asian "americans" attacking real americans.

learn to control your anger, learn to drive, learn to eat without smacking your lips, then youll earn the right to call yourselves americans.

until then, youre just gooks - the same as back when we were raiding your villages and rice paddies, that goes for you too, angry asian (NOT american) man.

so i would like to draw your attention to the stereotype of "eating without smacking your lips". ive never heard that one before, but will now be on the look out for asians smacking their lips, thank you dirty hippie (is that is your real name). id also like to point out the lack of spelling mistakes....which is me applying a stereotype too... yes i know.

im not intending to get very deep at all with this post, you wont hear anything about fixing racial tendencies here... but i was just thinking (was a poo thinking session so this is a pretty stupid blog post), how come nobody wanna act the asian (fool)?

white people acting "black" - wiggas
asian people acting "black" - chiggas
black people acting "black" - soulja boi

asian people acting "white" - skazn/banana/whatevs
white people acting "asian" - cosplay

black people acting "asian" - you joking

did i just promote racism? meh.

all your base

2010-09-02T16:31:00.000-07:00

God did not create the universe and the "Big Bang" was an inevitable consequence of the laws of physics, the eminent British theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking argues in a new book.

Hawking says in his book “The Grand Design” that, given the existence of gravity, “the universe can and will create itself from nothing,” according to an excerpt published Thursday in The Times of London.

“Spontaneous creation is the reason why there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist,” he writes in the excerpt.

“It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper [fuse] and set the universe going,” he writes.

His book — as the title suggests — is an attempt to answer “the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything,” he writes, quoting Douglas Adams’ cult science fiction romp, “The Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”

His answer is “M-theory,” which, he says, posits 11 space-time dimensions, “vibrating strings, … point particles, two-dimensional membranes, three-dimensional blobs and other objects that are more difficult to picture and occupy even more dimensions of space.” He doesn’t explain much of that in the excerpt, which is the introduction to the book.

But he says he understands the feeling of the great English scientist Isaac Newton that God did “create” and “conserve” order in the universe.

It was the discovery of other solar systems outside our own, in 1992, that undercut a key idea of Newton’s — that our world was so uniquely designed to be comfortable for human life that some divine creator must have been responsible.

But, Hawking argues, if there are untold numbers of planets in the galaxy, it’s less remarkable that there’s one with conditions for human life.

And, indeed, he argues, any form of intelligent life that evolves anywhere will automatically find that it lives somewhere suitable for it.

From there he introduces the idea of multiple universes, saying that if there are many universes, one will have laws of physics like ours — and in such a universe, something not only can, but must, arise from nothing.

Therefore, he concludes, there’s no need for God to explain it.

But some of Hawking’s Cambridge colleagues said the physicist has missed the point.

“The ‘god’ that Stephen Hawking is trying to debunk is not the creator God of the Abrahamic faiths who really is the ultimate explanation for why there is something rather than nothing,” said Denis Alexander.

“Hawking’s god is a god-of-the-gaps used to plug present gaps in our scientific knowledge.

“Science provides us with a wonderful narrative as to how [existence] may happen, but theology addresses the meaning of the narrative,” said Alexander, director of The Faraday Institute for Science and Religion.

And Fraser Watts, an Anglican priest and Cambridge expert in the history of science, said that it’s not the existence of the universe that proves the existence of God.

But, he said, “a creator God provides a reasonable and credible explanation of why there is a universe, and … it is somewhat more likely that there is a God than that there is not. That view is not undermined by what Hawking has said.”

stolen@cnn

+++

that second paragraph in bold just destroyed the reason why i still believed (i guess) in god.
too many nature documentaries in HD i think.

not gonna front though, i still believe in god. cos im a pussy

kokomo

2010-08-31T04:43:00.000-07:00

HOW TO BALANCE WOK???
will you give me a futuristic wok holder too?

REGULATE

2010-08-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regulate_(song)#Synopsis

Once upon a time...

On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.[6]

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in the east side of Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood[7], where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he is being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a Rolex Watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren's head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself making a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges (sixteen residing in the pistol's magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) to expend on the group of robbers. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges. Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate's account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate's singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Warren displays his bravado by daring anyone to approach the style. There follows a brief discussion of the genre's musicological features, with special care taken to point out that in said milieu the rhythm is not in fact the rhythm, as one might assume, but actually the bass. Similarly the bass serves a purpose closer to that which the treble would in more traditional musical forms. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. Nate goes on to note that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication almost daily (from Nate's other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana[8]). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a threat to "busters," suggesting that he and Warren will further "regulate" any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their antagonists with small arms fire).

stolen@ymff

photochop

2010-08-22T00:53:00.000-07:00

this clip is mad depressing, bit odd

CHASING THE BROKEN HEARTED from Phil RetroSpector on Vimeo.

and to cheer you up

world famous

2010-08-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

"After a Thorough Battery of Tests We Can Now Recommend "The Newspaper" As the Best e-Reader On the Market"

For the past three weeks our team of engineers has analyzed the most popular e-readers on the market in order to confer our annual “Editor’s Choice” Award.

Devices were judged on a variety criteria to see how each functioned given a set of circumstances. The criteria themselves were weighted for the final score; individual and final grades were assigned on a curve.

Each device had its strengths. For some it was speed; for others it was capacity. Some were better with shorter articles; others with longer works. And cost, as always, was a factor. But in the end, one e-reader stood out.

The Newspaper.

The most obvious advantage of The Newspaper was the size of its display, which outclassed its rivals both in terms of size and elasticity. The Newspaper display could be read at full size or, when flipped open, twice its normal width. We also had no trouble reading copy when the display was flipped to half or even quarter size. One of our engineers even figured out how to make a hat.

One drawback to The Newspaper display was that it used a much older version of the e-ink employed in some other e-reader displays. As a result, our hands became dirty and a bit oily after just a few minutes of use. However, further experimentation proved the device’s sundry qualities, combined with the elasticity of its screen, to be a most effective weapon against flies. It also proved to be an adequate alternative to wrapping paper.

With the other e-readers, some of our engineers had the exact opposite experience. They reported an unwillingness to hold the device—nor let anyone else hold the device—unless their hands had been scrubbed and rescrubbed and scrubbed again. The slightest grease mark or dust particle sent these engineers into a flying panic. Several are still checked in to a facility just outside the city.

What concerned us most about The Newspaper was its lack of Wi-Fi. Information on the system was locked, while on other e-readers it was open, ubiquitous and current. Eventually, however, we found this advantage to be overstated, even misleading. Engineers using The Newspaper typically did so 30 to 60 minutes a day. Afterward, they went outside, formed relationships, and took in what life had to offer. Those using Wi-Fi-enabled e-readers tended to stay on the couch, scanning video sites for cats; eventually, downloading recipes for artichoke cheese dip they’ll never use.

There were other limits to The Newspaper’s capabilities. Yet, these we could live with as well. Books could be downloaded onto the other e-readers, but after several days, we became bored with this feature. It seemed, for our tastes, that too many married professors with too many tenure problems were having too many mid-life crises involving too many young mistresses. Also, we found that, even on a color monitor, we still couldn’t finish Swann’s Way.

Cost was a bit of a push. The Newspaper is more than some devices, when prorated over the course of two or more years, but inexpensive month-to-month. On the whole, users will have to determine which e-reader fits their budget best. However, we quickly discovered the e-reader’s cheap short-term costs, coupled with its ubiquity and screen size, made for great cover when tailing people like they did in the ’30s.

The Newspaper also had other, unique features that added value to the overall experience.

The device’s internal security system was chief among these attractions. We left one Newspaper on a park bench for six hours and, upon return, found it in the exact same place. Another we left in a bar after a thorough evening of testing. When we came back the next afternoon, The Newspaper remained untouched. The proprietor, incidentally, was curious why engineers would return for a day-old e-reader. We tried to explain the tests, but he gave us all dirty looks. When we tried to explain the process again, he became testy and said if we were going to bring that kind of claptrap in here, we could get the hell out. We did and went elsewhere to continue testing.

Battery life was also a plus, as The Newspaper lasted 24 hours—much longer than its next-best rival.

The Newspaper also has a great number of apps already downloaded onto the device, ones we have yet to see on any other e-reader. There are the previously mentioned fly-swatting, hat-making, present-wrapping, and tailing people apps. But also the “same ol’ bullshit”, “who’s got the sports section?” and “packing material for my eBay business” apps.

In the end, we found The Newspaper to be the least flashy and technical of the e-readers. Its value seems to be derived from a rather basic utility. And while we were generally pleased with the content, we would advise the makers of the next generation Newspaper to include a few new comic strips. That said, no other e-reader impressed us more—both in terms of convenience and fine hat-making.

stolen@mcsweeny

ahhh shit

2010-08-16T17:29:00.000-07:00

so like i knew i shouldnt have shaved

jokers of the scene

2010-08-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

so the federal election is nearly upon us (8 days yo), and i really dont know who im voting for.

do you?

i know who i DONT want to vote for, namely, abbott or gillard, and especially not the family first party (they get preference H8) and their shining beacon of hypocrisy, the dumbass steve fielding.

[i wrote a hella long paragraph about fielding but it got deleted, so ill leave them kilobytes floundering somewhere on the web to protect my sanity]

anyway, i think abbot is a (massive) fool, and while gillard seemed capable enough when deputizing for rudd (at least to me), this image has been thoroughly swept away.

so maybe she might become (officially) the first female prime minister of australia, but really, is it that big a deal? lets choose pure ability over the awesomeness(?) of having the first ice queen of narnia presiding in canberra. (id probably vote for tilda swinton, she'd scare away "boat people" and is pretty sadness in burn after reading).

anyway, we wouldnt even be groundbreaking with such a decision. the first female prime minister of australia doesnt mean diddly squat. it also doesnt mean australia is any less sexist, or any more intelligent. or racist towards rangas. (see what i did there?)

anyway.

my problem with everything ive written above is that whilst personal attacks are all well and good (and fun), these 2 dumdums are our only options. and i know that i know nothing about their policies. as opposed to not knowing what i not know. today labor demanded the coalition detail its election plans, which probably (hopefully) means that neither does anyone else.

i read something about a proposed buy back of water for the murray (and an article saying that 1/3 of the "water" in question doesnt actually exist), and plans for an (extra?) railway line in sydney that would cost $1.4 billion... and commence construction in 2014. spaghett!

so what you gon tell me now?

id enter politics, but i dont know how to fix the country.

i read an article (book review) today about how black people (read: any minority race) have to stop blaming the government for all their ills. it made me think less about the role of government, and more about what comes within.

and also of my own problems with authorathay.

"The government cannot make people watch less television, talk to their children, or read more books. It cannot ordain domestic order, harmony, tranquility, stability, or other conditions conducive to academic success and the development of sound character. Nor can it determine how families structure their interactions and routines or how family resources—including time and money—are expended. Large-scale programs are especially ineffective in changing attitudes and values toward learning, work, and marriage."

so yeah.
ask not what your government can do for you.
but what you can do for yerself.

and fuck racism.

“Is it possible to pursue an arduous program of self-improvement while simultaneously thinking of oneself as a victim of grievous mistreatment and of one’s shortcomings as a product of external forces?”

chicken

2010-08-06T00:40:00.000-07:00

hell bored.
going through my youtube favourites playlist

can someone link me to the clip where the dad raps over n.w.a's f**k the police to his son?

kokomo

2010-08-05T17:56:00.001-07:00

i always had a soft spot for hey, soul sister, but only because i felt that pat monahan (lead singer) was desperately clinging on to his vocal chords- hey-EY-Eh-eh-Eh-EH!
wikipedia is failing me at the moment, and no youtube at work, but wasnt he the guitarist for fuel too or something funny like that?

come at me.

Mouths Cradle - Summertime

does this song go from like.. happy to really oddly dark in a matter of verses?

youdontevenevenfarkinowhoiam!
yewdunevenevenfeckinowhoiam!

gonna have fun with this one.

read a site

2010-08-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

The Taxonomy of the Nerd

What We Can Learn from Babies: Experimentation, Failure & Creative Genius

Song And Vision No. 5: "California Dreamin'" and Chungking Express

Beware those Black Swans

Let's Start a New Life with iDish

The Anosognosic’s Dilemma: Something’s Wrong but You’ll Never Know What It Is

Exactly what happens when a person leaps off the Golden Gate Bridge?

absolutely everything stolen firstly from ymff, which in turn steals from...

these words

2010-07-31T05:47:00.000-07:00

sometimes.

1 cigarette

5 cigarettes

10 cigarettes

20 minutes later

okayokayokay.

INCEPTION for dumdums

2010-07-28T01:52:00.000-07:00

Walking out of Inception, I knew I had watched an amazing movie, but was thoroughly as un-mindf***** as I had hoped I would have been.

Considering the subject in question, dreams within dreams, dream sharing and the subconscious etc, there was ample material for some severe brainsex. That being said, my perception of the film might have been slightly (okay, extremely) warped due to reading this article before I saw the movie.

'Inception': As eye-catching, and as profound, as an Usher concert

I know I was disappointed, but not as dissapointed as the way I am every morning when I wake up, and am still not Na'Vi. 5.5 times homie.

The thing is, whilst we were all (mostly) focusing on whether the spinning top was going to fall or not - cringing in our seats, listening to the soundtrack for wobbles, we failed to realize that it didnt actually matter. Cobb (Di Caprio) didn't care anymore. He was happy.
And this is the mindfuck [well, I believe so].

Inception is a movie about the Inception on Cobb, not Fischer (Scarecrow).
And everything we see, is actually a dream.

Ariadne (Juno) is leading an "Inception" on Cobb. [From now on im going to go ahead and use the noun 'inception' as a verb of sorts, meaning the actual idea planting and deceiving]. The team that Cobb believes he's handpicked is actually Ariadne's team. Arthur (Gordon-Levitt), Watanbe (Saito), Indian Chemist Guy (Avatar Doctor Guy), English Guy (Is that you Boromir?). Everyone. Ariadne is introduced to Cobb by his Daddy (Michael Caine) who exclaims that shes "even more brilliant than you". After walking Ariadne through the dreamscape for the first time, Cobb comments that hes "never seen anyone pick it up as fast". And that would be because she's been there before, and done everything already.

What was the Inception? To plant an idea to allow Cobb to let go off his wife. To relieve his guilt.

So if I walk you through this again...

Level 1 - Reality
Level 2 - Fake Reality/Dream 1: what we are shown on screen - meet Ariadne, Saito buys a plane on a whim, drug Fischer, enter Yusuf's dream
Level 3 - Sydney? abduct Fischer, frame Browning, enter Arthur's dream
Level 4 - Hotel Bonus Stage, Mr Charles, Fischer's subconscious projects Browning, enter Fischer's head
Level 5 - Ice Fortress Level, Mal shoots Fischer, Cobb shoots Mal, Fischer is in Limbo, enter Limbo
Level 6 - Limbo!... or not?

Level 3, 4 & 5 are presented as the Inception taking place on Fischer. Whilst Cobb thinks he is deceiving Fischer, Ariadne is actually deceiving Cobb. Fischer might not even be a real person, but it makes it sound a bit more tricky if we can believe that there are 2 actual Inceptions taking place at the same time. At the end of Level 4, Fischer believes he is entering Browning's head in order to see what Browning was trying to hide from Fischer regarding his father's will. (The Browning is just Fischer's subconscious, ingenious). What actually happened is that Ariadne and Cobb went into Fischer's dream, with the fortress being created by Ariadne the Architect.

On Level 5, when confronted with the option, Cobb is unable to shot Mal on sight. After she finally jeopardizes the mission, and the lives of his teammates he manages to shoot her. It is Ariadne's idea to go one Level deeper, and finally, he is able to let go of Mal. (Some stabbing occurs, can't really remember the dialogue blahblah).

The reason they have to go so deep to perform Inception on Cobb is because hes such a skilled extractor in the first place.

Hal Phillips puts it best when he says

"In a dream, within a dream, within a dream, within a dream, within a dream, [Cobb] is implanted with the idea that his dream-wife is not his real wife, and that he must move on."

So in summary, Cobb is in a dream, and in his dream he leads a mission to steal secrets from Saito, is thwarted then offered the opportunity to perform a job for Saito, and is Inceptionnnnnn!

Extra evidence I have towards this is the whole Mombassa scene. When Cobb tries to escape into the coffee shop, everyone just stares at him and yells at him. Yeah, I know he's white and yelling at them in English, but surely they'd just give the man his coffee? Also, when running away, Cobb gets stuck between 2 buildings that keep getting tighter, and tighter. Common anxiety nightmare [along with that one about losing all your teeth FUCK]. You stuck dawg. Anyway, Cobb manages to escape, and by a stroke of luck, out comes Saito. Right.

What I find extremely interesting about this theory is that in killing herself, Mal was right. She was completely sane, had gone to see psychiatrists and had tried to get Cobb to 'cap ou pas cap?' with her. He didn't.

Which might also mean that when she did get to reality, she would see Cobb attached to a dream machine and just dunk him in water, but I dunno.

Anyway, I've read a bunch of different analyses, (Jungian archtypes anyone?) but I think one of the truism (boringism) of this film is that when we think about dreams, we always have a middle, and an end, but never a beginning. In all the scenes in Inception, we don't really know how we get to where we are, we just happen to drop in. And we accept that. Whilst this may indicate that what we are viewing is a dream, it also pays homage to the idea of a movie in the first place - somewhere to escape reality and "dream". We accept what we see on screen as fact in fiction. And in that aspect, the movie Inception is just a mirror of the movie industry. Theres an article comparing all the main players in Inception, to the main players in the making of a movie - Cobb is the director, Arthur the producer, Saito the financier.. it all makes sense. [But is not as exciting].

Never Wake Up: The Meaning and Secret of Inception

And last but not least,

VUVUZELAAAAAAA~

p.s. http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/inception-comic.html
p.p.s. i dont think the limbo stuff is that confusing so no limbo for you!

contraception!

2010-07-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

if you were let-down slightly by inception, be prepared for my review of inception!

milky

2010-07-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

every summer(winter) that i return to the kl i gain a new playlist full of ridiculous music, shit that id never really listen to, but just grows on you after being alcohol addled for 4 nights in a row of clubbing.

2007 brought doozies such as enrique iglesias' ping pong song, fergie's big girls dont cry, and pitbull's gasolina. 2008 was ne-yo's closer (i do actually like ne-yo though, hes 1/4 asian after all), and thats all i actually remember right now.

anyway, im going to ignore usher singing ohmygosh (stuck in my head for 10 days now dyea!) and instead share this with you. not a clubbing song, but introduced to me by one of my homies. its got about 10,000 plays in my itunes already

Edward Maya feat. Vika Jigulina - Stereo Love

p.s happy 5!

flashing rights

2010-07-12T19:57:00.001-07:00

cant knock that skinny girl steez

this song is everywhere in kl atm

its not bad... lah.

lol

2010-07-03T02:25:00.000-07:00

thought i might as well put in some "effort"

the destroyers - lectric love
foster the people - pumped up kicks
flight facilities - crave you

flight facilities vs aeroplane vs friendly fires - i crave paris

great breakbot sound yo!

this is your life

2010-07-01T22:33:00.001-07:00

does anybody know what the deal is with watching porn in china? if im not mistaken you dont get facebook or blogger unless you go through proxies.

stolen@workup

aww man

2010-06-29T23:10:00.000-07:00

stolen@ymff

im always that guy hammering the close door button.

kokomo

2010-06-28T22:48:00.000-07:00

and on the piano, this

you bad

2010-06-27T22:17:00.001-07:00

i found this on thecoolhunter website, man i love hating on those guys.

Fitzroy High School, Melbourne

The school’s philosophy of innovation in education is reflected in the striking new building that connects with a cluster of older school buildings, some more than 100 years old. The new building’s exterior walls are deliciously wavy and painted in stripes of secondary colours, all of which helps the building both blend in and stand out.

Inside, the studio spaces had to remain extremely flexible and their configurations had to be easy to change by staff. The solution is deceptively simple: Bright-colored drapes and splashes of color that define a space. The school brought McBride Charles Ryan the 2010 Grand Prix at the Dulux Color Awards while the interior won in the Commercial Interior category. - Tuija Seipell.

so i looked at some of the other stuff mcbride charles ryan have done, and some of it, is, not that bad, some of it, is, stupid (asahi collab), and some stuff should never be attempted again, i.e. the usage of gaudy ass colours in the creation of institutions of learning. (and what the what is up with the retarded shape of that building? i thought land was expensive in melbourne.) check out the templestowe primary school they did with the lime green poles. so ridicurous. then check out the klein bottle house. dyea whatevs. but back to my first point. looking back, school was actually pretty fun, and bright colours is not what made it fun, nor would it have made it fun (wierd sentence). the drearier the colours of your school the better, because then you can foster imaginamation and maybe one day, resentment at the world!

anyway robin williams can also make school fun.

what a doll

2010-06-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

man i cant wait for this

but i hope y'all being ironic, complex

"how to dress like buzz lightyear, woody, and mr potato head"

stolen@worldsbestever

everybody hates raymond

2010-06-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

from soccernet.com

Casual observers might well ask what the fuss is all about. Domenech, after all, led his country to the final of the World Cup four years ago, the pinnacle - apart from actually winning it - of any coach's ambitions, falling short of the ultimate prize through the lottery of penalties.

This was a man, too, who had lost only 11 of 74 games coming into the tournament and the only person to steer France to three consecutive major finals.

But this was also a man who had never won anything, whose bookish appearance, love of the theatre and intellectual style never caught on with the public, whose passion for astrology was allegedly one reason that Robert Pires, being a Scorpio, was treated with such suspicion.

And they weren't the only reasons Domenech fell out so spectacularly with the media and, if rumours are to be believed, some of his players to boot. His selections, such as leaving likes of Sami Nasri and Karim Benzema out of his squad, had some questioning his sanity. His soft-spoken, almost superior way of answering questions was anathema to grass-roots fans who turned on the coach with such venom that he had been known to turn up to games in disguise.

After France's shock exit at Euro 2008, Domenech hardly enhanced his reputation. Asked about his future, he replied merely that his only plan was to get married. He later explained: "It was just a thought. Everyone was so sad and I thought to myself, 'Life has its beautiful moments. You have to tell people you love them'."

Many observers might empathise with such comments, agreeing that there is more to life than football. Others were not so accommodating, with former players queuing up to argue that Domenech had finally lost the plot and had become a figure of fun who simply had to be replaced.

kokomo

2010-06-19T10:34:00.000-07:00

four for friday

2010-06-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

its always pretty interesting reading toilet/table graffiti, and ive been told that the female toilets are just as bad, albeit the subject matter being a little more profound than those in male toilets

e.g.
*"does anyone have a gf who likes sex more than them?"
"new much hotter much hotter gf = less sex :( but more drugs :)"
"you're a fag"
"what is a gf?"
"grandfather?"
"reading that as grandfather is awkward"
"reading as a grandfather is awkward"

*this gem has since been removed from the hargraves library toilet
in another library, i was sitting at a table covered in racist souvenirs left by previous occupants of the cubicle.

then i saw this

quit playin.

cmon aussie, cmon

2010-06-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

i saw an ad for this guy in a magazine, how good is he!!!

http://www.mattblatt.com.au/Replica-Furniture.aspx?s16658

the finest imitation furniture in the world.
no doubt this is common practice, but yeah, thought it humorous.
and i am not very humorous recently.

revelations

2010-06-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

A large Christ statue known to Monroe, Ohio locals as Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning the other night. It burned to the ground.

A Handsome Stranger Called Death by FOE

i wrote this post on friday, but you dont need to know that

oh! what a circus

2010-06-14T05:33:00.000-07:00

what a bunch of dumdums

okay you got me.

adidas

2010-06-13T02:53:00.000-07:00

no idea what the what is going on, or what purpose this serves, and if there wasnt snoop dogg in it it would suck.

otherwise, these are not the droids you are looking for.

yada yada yada

2010-06-12T23:13:00.001-07:00

stay in school

excellent

2010-06-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

it took me 2 tries

yup, i just consumed 50% of all your remaining brain cells.

damn

2010-06-09T19:33:00.000-07:00

almost better than watching the game itself

"rainman. not a retard"

the world as told by andee frost

2010-06-08T03:30:00.000-07:00

stolen @wavesatnight

itd be hard for me to save that the rest of this interview really speaks to me because i am still a wee lad of 16, but for the most part, up yours ~~sorry grandma~~!

# Everyone’s a DJ.
# Everyone else is a promoter or a wannabe club photographer, or a social climber.
# Nobody wants to pay to get into a club. Why would you when you can become a promoter?
# The internet has killed individual taste the world over.
# Kids these days have no respect for each other and no patience; they expect everything instantly.
# Drugs are getting worse and worse.
# You can’t smoke inside clubs, so you can’t keep dancers’ attention; they are always darting outside. Smoking also makes your drugs work better; when you could do it on a dancefloor you never had to leave and it created a sick vibe! That’s why warehouse, house parties and festivals are so good because there is no smoking bullshit.
# Once upon a time people used to go out and interact; now everyone sits on Facebook and does their interacting via an online personality. This creates cliques inside a club. The group gets smaller and smaller and no one is united anymore; everyone spends all their time bitching about the other people in the venue. In the past it used to be you and everyone else in that club against the rest of the world every night, and you thought you could do anything. Now people spend all week talking on Facebook and then when they go out what do they do? Talk all night. What happened to dancing all night?
# Too many DJ’s are sheep and don’t have enough balls to play the stuff they really love and try push new music onto people. Nine times out of ten if it’s good, they will dance.
# People are force fed everything so they have become more lazy to go and seek out new things.
# In the old days, people used to have jobs outside of the club they went to. This sustained a club because people spent money on entry, drinks, etc. Now the trend is to try and work for the club, throw a night, be a promoter, be a bar tender, even though you really want to be a DJ. It’s all an “in” to the industry. No one does anything because they “love” doing it, well, at least in a good chunk of the clubs across Melbourne.
# There is an information overload: once upon a time, if you wanted to become a producer or a DJ you had to dedicate yourself to do it, go out and get a second job just to be able to afford records or equipment. Now it’s as easy as anyone with a computer can “give it a go” – you can download a week’s worth of music in just over an hour with the right connection. These people dabble for a short time and expand on the masses amounts of shit mediocre music, DJ’s, clubnights already on offer and it dilutes what little scene there is even further.
# And finally, old people like me bitch and moan about how good it used to be, which kids either love or hate. At the end of the day, we are only trying to relive what was an amazing time. I think the clubbers of Melbourne deserve that much!

very (un)australian apparel

2010-06-07T20:20:00.000-07:00

dear big businesses,

unfortunately for you, it doesnt matter how happy you make your employees look in your videos, we still think you're full of shit.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/business/dov_bare_market_QR6poNhQ57TSd5vsk4068K

i still shop african apparel though.

kokomo

2010-06-04T22:42:00.001-07:00

girl i think i found it.

if anyone knows where this actually is, PLEASE LET ME KNOW

THE HATEOCRACY

2010-06-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

CAN YOU DIG IT

awww flizzuckkkk

2010-06-02T06:42:00.000-07:00

i quite like the notion that the world is about to end soon, purely because ive been rather self destructive up to this stage of my life and like to think i got my shit together. cos if the world was REALLY gonna end, why would you go around being sensible.

so if you believe the christian zealots, we are in the midst of the book of revelations. theres some crazy prophetic stuff in there, and apparently everything in the bible will eventually happen. it doesnt really phase me (yet) because we've yet to see (properly) any bible-ufos (http://www.bibleufo.com/) like the book of ezekiel said we would, but the constant natural disasters we're seeing at the moment surely mean SOMETHING (everything?) is messed up.

i saw this on the worldsbestever blog, which you can figure out for yourself, and i think its actually an image of the oil spill happening off the coast of america.

The second angel poured out his bowl on the sea, and it turned into blood like that of a dead man, and every living thing in the sea died. — Revelation 16:3

HOOOOO~~~
go kiss your loved ones.
and for more images that will make you shake your wretched fists in anger, click here

update for you! some genius thinks she has a solution, i dont gettit. getsit here!

burretploof

2010-06-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

there is some stuff that is too powerful to ever share, such as themostimportantvideoyoumayeverwatchreally. on the other hand, there is classic stuff, that just has to be shared.

i peeped this clip a couple of years back, but only just finished downloading the movie. im gonna wait till i finish exams, open up a slab by my pool, and gotdamn will it be a good day.

for your health.

who cares.

kokomo

2010-05-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

where your dog has a nicer bed than you

a soft thick and sumptuous cushion, wrapped in luxury velour makes the perfect base for a comfortable nights sleep

http://www.waifs-and-strays.com/